


Apologies My Dear Watson

by Jae_Hwa8



Category: Sherlock Holmes (Downey films), Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Under construction, in the process of being edited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2018-04-05 00:34:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4158873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jae_Hwa8/pseuds/Jae_Hwa8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(This fanfiction is under construction) <br/>Taking place after movie two. Sherlock gave his life to protect Watson and after four years, Holmes' comes back but with some company. Watson and Mary have been trying to get pregnant for little over two years; Watson doesn’t want to see Holmes again. Non-con, mpreg, Graphic as I can make it. I tried.<br/>Disclaimer: I do not own these characters except Beth and Lilly. I wish I owned these characters though.(for all chapters.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forgive and Regret

Sherlock whimpered as John pushed his hot cock deep into him. Holmes never thought John would do something like this to him, but then again, he never thought he would enjoy it and it’s not rape if you enjoy it. Right? John’s thrusts were getting harder and faster if that were possible, and the feeling of Johns cock rubbing against his prostate was pure ecstasy but Holmes knew this was not right… not normal.  
“Jo-hn…Ugh- I told you…Hn- don’t l-let-those gypsies…Ha-Aah…make you drink.” Yeah that’s what happened. Simza asked John if he wanted to dance and he ended up drinking too; he never listens to Sherlock, “John! It’s ah…so tight. Stop!”  
John didn’t listen; he continued to thrust into the warm slick hole of Sherlock Holmes. The sound of skin against skin, hot breath, and low pitched screeches sounded through the tent. John began to murmur something which just solidified Holmes suspicions. “You like that don’t you Mary? You’re such a bad girl, look how you’re squeezing my dick.” Sherlock understood, John wasn’t doing it with him, he was doing it with his wife-technically speaking since his wife wasn’t here- it would make sense since, they are married and he had dragged John all the way to France during their honeymoon period but when it came to actually hearing that John wasn’t thinking of him it hurt. John had stopped thrusting as he reached his climax and he released his semen deep inside Sherlock. Sherlock, surprised by the intrusion of an unknown element released his seed as well, John didn’t pull out. Instead, he fell on top of Sherlock falling asleep with his semi hard cock still inside him, Sherlock couldn’t shake the feeling that he was going to regret this somehow.

 

**At the Peace Summit**  
Holmes had to get one last look at his dearest friend before he gave his life to save John Watson and Mary Watson. At last minute, it seemed that the formidable Sherlock Holmes had gained feelings for the one person who stayed by his side through thick and thin and now, he had to say goodbye. Sherlock wished that he could tell John that he loved him and that he was sorry for putting him through everything. While he, Sherlock, had an iron like grip around the devil who had wreaked such havoc, Watson had managed to stop the assassination of the Prime Minister and made his way to the balcony that Sherlock and Moriarty were occupying. Upon opening the door, he found Sherlock locked with Moriarty and without a word pushing him and his captive over the balcony wall.  
John just stood there looking on as his friend and Moriarty went over the edge. He couldn’t help but feel irritated that Sherlock has disregarded his feelings once again and did whatever he wanted. Holmes couldn’t be dead because he was like a roach; nothing could kill Sherlock and if it could he would have a backup plan.  
“Dammit Sherlock why do you do this to me? I know you aren’t dead, so you better come back.” Watson said looking over the wall that dropped into the water fall.  
**4 years later**  
“Mary, I’m home.” John called as he stepped into the foyer of the house.  
“Hello dear, how are you?” Mary walked up and kissed her husband of four years on the cheek.  
“I’m fine, and how are you dear?” John swept his wife off her feet and she giggled.  
“John, stop it.” He soon placed her back on her feet and she straightened herself out.  
“So what’s for dinner today?” John asked now remembering how hungry he was and he just loved his wife’s cooking but then again, many people did.  
“Today we are having biscuits and gravy.” She said heading back to the kitchen. That was one of John’s favorite dishes and she never made it unless it was for a special occasion (she doesn’t like the dish very much). John began to remember how Sherlock would make it for him. Surprisingly, Sherlock was an okay cook when he wasn’t being a sarcastic arse-hole and he loved making food for John. John always wondered where Sherlock learned to cook like he did but now he couldn’t ask because his dear friend was dead, gone, kaput, no longer living. It saddened him because the first couple of years, he just knew Sherlock wasn’t dead and he had the oxygen flask and question mark on his typed story to prove it but after two more years he wouldn’t dare entertain the thought of him being alive because if he did, it would eat him from the inside out. Even Mrs. Hudson had missed him and that was really saying something.  
John soon decided to cast the thought out of his mind and made his way into the kitchen and ate his dinner. Upon sitting down to his meal, Mary began to stare at him intensely and he felt that if she kept staring at him, he would never be able to enjoy his dinner properly.  
“What is it dear? Have I got something on my face?”  
“I know we have been trying for a very long time but, I want to try again.”  
“…You mean you want to try to have a baby again?” John inquired.  
“Yes.”  
Over the past four years, Mary and John had been trying for a baby but were never successful. Of course the subject of children had been a sore topic for Mary and for her to bring it up was something.  
“Well then, why don’t we try after dinner?’ Marry agreed and so right after dinner, they got busy.  
***  
The next morning was extremely bright considering that it was spring it was surprising that it wasn’t totally hot. Through the British streets, a group of three walked through the streets holding hands. They all wore cloaks and hoods that covered their faces; there was a big one in the middle and two little ones at their side. The group made their way through the crowded streets and a deep voice spoke, “Stick close, I don’t want either of you getting lost. Okay?”  
The two smaller voices both said, “Yes.” And they continued their way through the congested roads. They soon stopped at a door that read 221B Baker St. The biggest of the three knocked loudly on the black wooden door and patiently waited for someone to answer. Soon someone did, a woman tall for her gender and still looking young- Mrs. Hudson.  
“Yes, how may I help you?” Mrs. Hudson asked curious as to who the person was when people rarely came to her house save one, John Watson.  
“I was wondering if you had any rooms for rent.” The deep voice said keeping their head down and keeping their hands clenched around the two smaller figures hands.  
“I have one room but it- I haven’t cleared it out yet.” The women spoke.  
“That is fine, we are all so very tired and we would like a place to stay just for tonight if you would not like us staying here. Just please let us stay the night and we will get out of your hair by tomorrow.”  
The woman thought about the offer and then nodded yes and signaled the group to come in.  
Now Mrs. Hudson was not stupid. She may not look it, but her being Holmes’ landlady for quite some time, she knew how to deduce some things and she could definitely tell that this person was someone familiar. She closed the door and looked at the group who were formally taking off their shoes, she crossed her arms. “Sherlock Holmes, do you know how long it has been and how worried sick I have been?” The taller figure smiled and pulled back the hood that covered his face. “Long time no see Nanny. It’s good to see you again.”  
“Oh really, that’s surprising to hear. After all I spent my entire time trying to poison you.”  
Sherlock laughed and hugged Mrs. Hudson who was surprised by the action.  
“Sherlock, what is wrong with you? Are you sick?” She felt his forehead, “You feel feverish. Sit down now; I will treat you then you will explain this entire thing.”  
Sherlock followed her into the living room and took off his cape. He sat down on a chair that was his favorite chair to sit on when he wasn’t in his room testing out guns, and poison and using drugs. The two smaller figures followed him into the living area and he pick both of them up and placed them on his laps. Mrs. Hudson was in the kitchen.  
The first one spoke in a tiny voice, “Daddy, do you think she will like us?”  
Sherlock surprised answered, “Of course she will like you Beth, and she has no reason not to.”  
The second responded, “But Daddy, she tried to poison you.”  
“Lilly don’t take that seriously it was just a joke. Now why don’t we practice those deduction skills?”  
The twin three year old girls nodded as they waited for their Father to give them some-thing to analyze. “Okay so we came into the foyer and sat down what did you notice?”  
The two girls sat and thought about it and then the youngest one Lilly, answered, “Some-one came previously before us.”  
“Well what do you mean; many people have been in here before us.” Sherlock countered  
“No a man with about a seven in a half size shoe came in.”  
“How do you know that it was seven in a half?”  
“There are dried mud tracks on the floor; the lady hasn’t gotten around to cleaning it. By the imprint on the bottom of the shoe, it was someone important. A police officer.”  
Sherlock smiled at his little girl; yeah Lilly took after him the most. “What about you Beth?”  
“Hmm, he has a small limp.” Beth wasn’t the stronger analyzer, but she could tell if something had a medical problem just by looking at it.”  
“And why do you say that?”  
“Because, there is different pressure on each step he took. The imprint isn’t as strong on the left as on the right.”  
“Very good girls.”  
Beth looked at her Father, “I’m not as good as Lilly when it comes to deducing. I was first born how come I didn’t get it?” Beth pouted but Lilly just looked on at her sister who was clearly upset.  
“Sweetie, When I see you I see your Father. He wasn’t as good as deducing as me, but he was still good and he had a thing for telling medical histories. He was very good at it and I think you may be better than him when it comes to seeing medical problem.”  
“Really?” Beth’s face lit up and that made Sherlock smile.  
“Yes. When I look at you, I see your fathers blue eyes and wide smile, and his no non-sense attitude, but you also have my free spirit. Lilly, when I look at you I see my brown eyes and always calculating glance, but you have the most innocent and sweetest look, like your other Father.”  
“Whose hair looks better?” Both girls asked  
“Now you both know I couldn't possibly choose. I love Beth's straight blondish -brown hair that actually looks like the color of honey in the sun, but I also love Lilly's light brown curls that frame her face so nicely. Such a hard choice so little time.”  
Just as Sherlock stopped talking, Mrs. Hudson came out with a towel and pot of tea some biscuits and jelly. “Hope I didn’t take long, oh I’m sorry I didn’t see these little beauties when you came in.” Mrs. Hudson put the platter on the coffee table, “And what might your names be?”  
Sherlock encouraged the two girls to answer. Beth being the most charismatic of the two and talkative introduced herself, “My name is Beth and this is my sister, Lilly. We’re twins.”  
“Well isn’t that sweet; you girls are just too cute. How old are you?”  
Lilly spoke this time, “We are both three!”  
“Yet you speak so eloquently, and will a women be coming here later? I presume that your Mother will meet you here. ...Or is your Mother deceased?” Mrs. Hudson cast her gaze downward. How could she ask such an incentive question to three year old's?  
"No our Mommy is very much alive and he..." Beth realized the mistake she almost made and stopped talking just as quickly as she started. Sherlock could feel the tension in the room thicken and so he dealt with it the best way he could , “Um I think I should go and give them a bath as to get them ready for bed.” Sherlock hurriedly said.  
“But it’s still early.”  
“We have had a long day. Once I get them clean and to bed we can talk, which reminds me, do you have any clothes that they could wear?”  
“I’m sure I do, I will go and look.” Mrs. Hudson raced off to another room while Sherlock took Lilly and Beth up stairs to the washroom. They stripped their clothes off and Sherlock ran the hot water in the tub. When the water was just right and the tub was filled, he placed both of his daughters in to the steamy liquid. Sherlock got a rag and began to soap it up to wash his babies from head to toe.  
Sherlock got to work scrubbing the dirt off of each of his daughters. His mind drifted off to the night where it all started, he couldn’t believe he thought he would regret it. Once his daughters were born, he fell in love with them. They were his reason for not drugging himself into a stupor, or fighting until his bones cracked, they were his anchor and he would do his best to protect them for as long as there was breath in his body.  
“Oh I almost forgot, are you two hungry?”  
“No,” Beth answered.  
“See Auntie and Uncle gave us snacks for the road and we have been eating them bit by bit.” The little girls didn’t look at their father scared that he would reprimand them.  
“I cannot believe that you did not share with your Father.” The two tannish girls continued looking down at the soapy water instead of their father. They hoped he wasn’t mad at them.  
“Of course I’m not mad at you. I find it quite hilarious actually.” This statement still didn’t make the girls feel better, “Well you do know what this means don’t you, you’re going straight to bed then.” The little girls nodded and soon they were out of the tub, dressed and in bed. Sherlock when he was sure they were asleep headed down stairs and talked with Mrs. Hudson.  
“So would you like to tell me why you disappeared for four years and where you got those two little girls from, because if you are using them as means to escape a tongue lashing, you will not be escaping on this night!”  
Sherlock looked down at his tea cup, by the contents, it was Darjeeling. He loved Darjeeling and Mrs. Hudson had remembered. “I left to protect Watson.”  
“How so, because as far as I know, all you have done is caused him heart ache.”  
“I left so that Mary and John could live together in peace without me interrupting; if anything happened to John, I wouldn’t forgive myself, and as to answer the question of the little girls, they are my biological daughters.”  
“Okay, but who is their mother? Sherlock Holmes you wouldn't do such a heinous crimes as separating them from their Mother would you?” Sherlock sighed  
“I am their Mother. I gave birth to them after carrying them for nine months and I have the stretchmarks to prove it. As to their Father I will keep that bit of information to myself but let it be known that it was non consensual and I have forgiven him but I feel no regret to what happened because those two little angels upstairs are all I need now. They are my life.”  
Mrs. Hudson didn’t say anything, just took in all of the information and then finally said, “I reckon you will need some cream for those marks as for a place to stay ... the room, your old room is yours. Though I have cleaned it up a bit, it’s not fit for a pair of small children. …Welcome back Sherlock.”  
“Thank you for taking this so well. They are not sleeping in my room until I have cleaned it properly and it’s good to see you aswell Mrs. Hudson.” They shared a small smile then Mrs. Hudson cleaned up the tea and Sherlock bathed and scooched into the bed next to his girls.  
“Good night my girls, my darling angels. Have sweet dreams.” Sherlock kissed both of them on the forehead and slipped into his own dream filled sleep.


	2. Scared Straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherly has a bad dream. This chapter is pretty short.  
> Disclaimer: Don't own some characters wish I did.

“Hello Sherlock.” A baritone voice crooned. It sent shivers down Sherlock’s spine and he froze.

It couldn’t be…that could not be who he thought it was. He saw with his own eyes the man fall to his death. How did he see the man die? Sherlock saw because he was the one that brought the sinister man to his death; he was responsible for saving the whole world from the vicious man.

“Moriarty…how?”

A laugh escaped the ominous man’s lips. He obviously was enjoying the reaction he was receiving from his nemesis.

“How, what, my dear Sherlock? We are both extremely educated men, it would do nicely if you spoke in an educated manor.” Sherlock could hear the smirk in the others voice.

“How are you still alive? I saw you die.” Sherlock tried to catch a glimpse of the foul man but all he saw was darkness.

“Well my dear Holmes, you aren’t the only one who can think on his feet. I must admit, I was thoroughly surprised when you opted with spewing lit shavings at me but even then, I had formulated a backup plan.”

Sherlock smiled, “Would you like to elaborate, or should I guess?”

“Oh Holmes, you, have lost your touch; now you have to guess? We are men of observation, we do not simply guess. Unfortunately, I am not here to brag about myself. I am here for a different reason.”

Suddenly, Sherlock felt a sharp pain in his shoulder and blood oozed through his clothes. His body lifted from its sitting position and he was swinging from the rafters, a hook embedded in his shoulder. A scream ripped through him as Moriarty pushed him across the abyss of a room. It was just like in Heilbronn except this time he had no idea where his opponent was and he had no back up. He grabbed the hook trying to support his weight and keep rom tearing his shoulder to shreds. He huffed in pain feeling the need to black out, but he couldn’t, not until he saw the Moriarty with his own eyes.

“What game is this you’re playing?” Sherlock tried masking his pain with cold calculation.

“A new game is afoot here Sherlock and you are already losing.”

Sherlock was dropped back into his seat his yells echoing when Moriarty forced the hook in deeper. The man focused Holmes attention to the front of him.

Two small bodies sat slumped against the wall and tied up. Sherlock couldn’t exactly make out the faces, but his stomach dropped anyway because he couldn’t mistake the bouncy, blonde-brown curls and the straight dark brown hair. His girls.

If he moved an inch, they would probably die.

“It’s your move Sherlock. What now?”

He looked at his girls and he began to panic. He was pinned. The hook in his shoulder would not make for a quiet escape and now for the first time in his life, his mind drew a blank. What was he supposed to do? There was no way to move and nowhere to go and he would not lose his girls like he lost Watson. That was one of the reasons he decided to keep the girls when they were born. He wasn’t proud to say it, but part of the reason why he kept them was because they were a piece of Watson that was all his. It didn’t matter if his piece was given to him unintentionally.

“Well looks like your turn has ended and it is my turn once again.”

“What?” Sherlock looked on in horror as dark silhouettes approached his daughters with cocked guns. “Wait! WAIT!” Sherlock’s panic became apparent as he struggled to remove the hand and hook from his shoulder. Unlike the facades he was able to keep up on so many other occasions, this time his feelings could be seen clearly and Moriarty drank in the site of it. “Wait, wait! Stop!Please stop!”

“As I said before my dear Holmes…you are already on the losing end.”

The guns went off and Sherlock felt like he just died. The hook and restraints were no longer there and he groped for his girls their lifeless bodies heavy in his arms. Tears fell uncontrollably.

“Beth! Lilly!”

He hit the floor with a thump his shoulder screamed but that didn’t matter. He shot up and searched scanned the bed. He rubbed his eyes when he didn’t see them. He practically kicked each door of the upper floor down.

“Beth! Lilly! Lilly!”

They were nowhere to be found. With lightening speed he ran downstairs. He called for his daughters. The terror he felt gripped at every fiber of his being until he saw the two little girls in their night shirts run into the living room, mouths full of food. Lilly spoke first.

“Daddy?”

Sherlock stared at the little ones, his body taking a minute to process that what he had just experienced was a horrible, terrible nightmare. He sagged onto the floor his legs deciding they no longer wanted to work. He brought them into a tight embrace tears falling for real.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again.”

Beth spoke this time, “Was it the dream again?” The two looked at him with wide eyes. Sherlock only stared back surprised that they knew about it. “You have been having a lot of bad dreams.”

Sherlock couldn’t hear what Beth said exactly, he was just happy that they were okay, “My girls. I’m glad you’re safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was very OOC for our Dear Sherlock. Comments are appreciated, hope you liked.


	3. Enter Detective Inspector Lestrade and Clarky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarky and Lestrade find out about Sherlock.

       The dream left Sherlock pretty shaken up, so he decided the best way to tackle the dream was to keep Beth and Lilly within arm’s reach at all times. Every time they went somewhere in the house, Sherlock followed not allowing them out of his sight for a second. Mrs. Hudson soon found it annoying because for one, he had been at it for a good part of the day, and for two, she was worried he was smothering the girls. Everyone, even children needed space. Just then, Beth and Lilly skittered into the kitchen smiles as big as the crescent moon. Mrs. Hudson smiled, “What seems to have caused these smiles?” Mrs. Hudson evaluated the smiles and noticed that they weren’t smiles of innocence but of deviousness and the only times she saw that smile was from Sherlock and one other person but she wouldn’t dare entertain the thought.

“You know how Daddy has been following us around?” Lilly’s smile grew. Mrs. Hudson nodded, her irritation becoming apparent, “Well, Beth and I decided to play hide-and-seek.” Mrs. Hudson could see where this was going. _They must have run him rampant because I don’t see Mr. Holmes._ “Well what was the outcome of the game?” She asked curiously. Beth sighed, “It sort of worked, but Daddy deducted where we were every time.” she crossed her arms in a pout.

Lilly laughed. “You mean he deduced where you were. he never found me which is how we caused him to worry. Now he’s sulking because he didn’t find me.” Mrs. Hudson laughed; these girls were truly Mr. Holmes’ daughters and you know, she could genuinely tell the difference in Holmes’ actions from before and after he had the girls.

"Alright, now that you are done playing, you two should wash up for lunch."

"Yay! Lunch!"

    The little girls ran up to the bathroom to get ready and Mrs.Hudson began to put plates of food on the coffee table where Sherlock was sitting. "Lighten up Mr. Holmes, you won't be able to know where they are at all times." Saying that just made him slouch into the couch even more. She eyed the now tan man. He looked tired and worn like he had been living for hundreds of years with no way to escape the agony of knowing he has no one left, "Mr. Holmes, can you explain to me why it is that you acknowledge yourself as their mother but they call you Father? I know you are a man and all but it just interests me to know."  Sherlock blushed, like actually blushed. His face got red and everything and Mrs. Hudson wished she had a camera.

"Well they did call me Mother but then I told them that where we were going people wouldn't except that and so I had them switch to call me Father. Of course usually the people who bear children are women and the people who help in the creation are men, but in my case things have been switched-"

"You mean the Father is a women?!" Mrs. Hudson held her hand to her mouth and gasped.

"NO! Oh heavens no." Sherlock blushed a deeper red. He didn't know if someone else had a situation where the women is the Father but that surely wasn't his situation. "Their Father is very much male. All I'm saying is that I, a male, just so happen to be the Mother in this case and their Father is a male as well." Mrs. Hudson formed an 'O' with her mouth and nodded, finally understanding.

The girls rushed down the stairs into the living room and sat in the two small chairs next to their Fathers big chair. Honestly, for three year old's they got around just fine. Mrs. Hudson nudged their plates in front of them, "Thank you." they said simultaneously before they begun to tear into their food. "Mmmm, this taste really good." Beth stated while Lilly the smaller of the two never said anything until everything on her plate was gone. "Yes that was very filling."

      Once everyone was finished Sherlock helped Mrs. Hudson collect up all the dishes for washing, while Beth and Lilly played a bit more.

"Hey Beth,"

"Yes?"

"Do you think we will get to meet our Father?"

Beth was quiet, even though she was the oldest by three minutes, she was still less sensitive than Lilly whose emotions were like the weather and would change sometimes in a heart beat. So she did what she thought was the best thing to do. She smiled and took Lilly's hands into her own. "Don't worry, we will definitely get to meet him. I know it."

Lilly nodded but wasn't exactly happy with the answer she received, "Do you think Father abandoned Mommy when he found out he was pregnant?" 

Beth was extremely surprised by this bit because Lilly only used Mommy when she was really scared about something. Plus, Father told her that he left the other man because he was married. She gasped inwardly. That meant that Father hadn't told Lilly and she think that he abandoned them, "Maybe there is a good reason why he left or maybe Mommy left Father."  

"But why would Mommy leave? You have heard him when he has nightmares. Mommy always begs whoever it is to come back." Beth didn't know how to answer that. She was only three which meant she didn't have all the answers. Promptly, the door bell rang saving Beth from a question she had no idea how to answer. With a shaky voice she said, "I-I'll answer it."

     Upon opening the door, she was greeted by a tall man with a mustache and a Scotland Yard Uniform on. "Hello, how may I help you Sir?" She smiled. The man faltered for a second seeing the little girl. 

"Good Afternoon Miss. Are you here alone?" He looked around the foyer checking to see if he would have to take these darling little girls into custody.

"No, Mrs. Hudson is in the Kitchen with Mommy." Lilly said sounding tired. Beth sort of glared at her for letting the Mommy thing slip and Lilly shrugged an apology.

"Please come in officer." She opened the door wide so he could step.

"Why thank you."

"Oh Officer, how nice it is to see you again. Would you like something to eat?" Mrs.Hudson took over.

"That would be nice, I am quite famished." Mrs.Hudson led the officer into the living room where he could sit and enjoy his lunch. Beth and Lilly followed most interested on who this man was. They sat in their small chairs across from him.

"If I may ask the names of such fair maidens?" the Officers bowed his head toward the two little girls.

"My name is Beth and this is Lilly."

"We're twins."

"Well aren't you as cute as buttons."

Without warning there was shouting from the kitchen and the sound of clashing kitchen utensils. The officer stared at the kitchen warily wondering if he should stay where he is or enter the fight.

"You will go out there and say hello or so help me I will throw out all yourself without a second thought!"

"You wouldn't dare, everything is already in its proper place!"

"Then I suggest you get moving."

The Officer looked back at the girls who just sat smiling, "What was that all about?"

"We don't know."

"Clarky, how good it is to see you again." Sherlock put on the best smile he could manage. The Officer stood when he saw who had entered.

"Mr. Holmes, is that really you?"

"Why yes it is."

"How... we thought... John saw..."

"Of everyone, I missed you the most Clarky."

"Surely not, what of Dr, Watson. He must know-" Something dark mixed with sadness passed through Sherlock's eyes and Clarky stopped.

"No, Watson doesn't know and it will be kept that way." He looked over at the girls who were sitting and watching with interests as their Father reacted strongly to the name Watson. They would be sure to ask him about it later, "Those two didn't cause any trouble did they?" He pointed at his darling daughters. Clarky shook his head.

"Goodness no. They are extremely well behaved.

   Mrs. Hudson came out with his lunch and he sat and enjoyed it while talking with Sherlock about everything he had missed and everything that happened. It was wonderful that they could catch up, "Detective Inspector Lestrade must find out you do know that right?"

"Of course. "

* * *

 

**At the Scotland Yard**

"You finished with your rounds Clarky."

"Yes Sir and there is something important you must know."

"Well go on and spit it out."

"Mr.Holmes is back and he is on his way."

"Impossible."

"Now now, you still don't know how to differentiate between good information and bad information. Am I right Detective Inspector?"

Lestrade looked at the man sitting in his chair as he had stood up from hearing the shocking news.

"Bloody Hell." Lestrade fainted.

"Clarky would you do me a favor and get him off the ground?" Clarky nodded and dragged Lestrade onto a chair, while Sherlock peeked at the contents on Lestrade's desk, "Well what do we have here? A priceless diamond has been stolen from the Duchesses of London? Sounds Interesting." Lestrade just sat taking deep breathes and eying  the mysterious man who looked like Sherlock. This had to be a ghost it couldn't possibly be Sherlock, the man is dead. Sherlock looked up at the clock and smiled. "Oh, I am very sorry but I have some important business to attend to so ta-ta. Right and make sure you don't breathe a word of this to John, understood?" Lestrade nodded. "Good, bye." and with that, the man left. Lestrade looked at the window the man left out of; he really needed to get his eyes checked or maybe his whole mental state is out of whack. Whatever it was once again the man was being an arse only to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now Lestrade and Clarky know about Holmes, do you think one of them will tell John? The next chapter will start off with John and Mary. Anyway as you can I tried to make this one longer than the last and sorry for any grammar or spelling errors i will go over it again I promise. Comments are appreciated and hey tell me if you would like to see anyone special from the Sherlock Holmes (Downey movies) make an appearance. Hope you liked. BYE BYE (wave)


	4. Chance Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls meet a suspicious looking character.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so here's the deal, I am got tired of typing in third person so I will continue on in first person. The first three chapters were just to introduce the main characters anyway so yeah. Hope you enjoy.

**Watson( This two weeks after Sherlock went to the Yard)  
**

**  
** _Hot breath, sweaty bodies, and moaning. "You like that don't you Mary? Oh, you are such a bad girl."_

_"Watson...stop. It HURTS!"_

 I awoke with a start and broke out in a cold sweat. I held my head in my hands and looked over at Mary hoping I didn't wake her up, thankfully I didn't. I've been having the same nightmare for the last three years and every time I try to remember I only get small flashes. In the nightmare I would hear yelling, skin slapping against skin, and even more surprising,the air smelled of sex. Sometimes I wold see Sherlock's face and even my face but I could never piece together the whole story. In order to clear my head I slipped out of bed and decided to walk out into the midnight air and find my way to Mrs. Hudson's. Breathing in the crisp night air I tried forcing the images into the back of my mind. The cold air bit at my face and caused me to wince. I looked up to find the street light labeled 221B Baker Street. Thankfully Mrs. Hudson allowed me to keep the keys to building so I just let myself in.

All of the lights were out and not a sound reverberated through the house. Still standing in the foyer, I looked up the stairs toward the room that I use to share with my now deceased friend. I hadn't allowed Mrs. Hudson to clean it or give it away because I felt an attachment to the place where I had developed a strong life long friendship and brotherhood with the man. I made sure to quietly get up the stairs and turn the nob to enter the room. Upon entering, I breathed in the smell of him and of molded paper and chemicals. The bed was empty and the I could see that Mrs. Hudson have given in and picked up a couple of things around the room. I smiled remembering the times we spent together and the cases we solved. My mind flashed back to parts of the nightmare and this time I saw Sherlock's face contorted in pain and fear but I didn't know why. Leaving out the room, I gasped when something bumped into my leg.

"Uh, sorry." I turned on the lights to get a better look a what I was dealing with. A pair of young interesting eyes stared up at me. I call them interesting because they are brown but they have specks of blue in them. Brown curls framed a white, clear, round face, "Oh, hello Mister." The small girl said. I knelt in front of her.

"Hi there, who are you?"  She eyed me suspiciously before speaking.

"My name is Lilly." She held out her hand for a handshake.

"I'm Dr. Watson; it's nice to meet you." I took her hand in mine and shook it.

"Lilly, what are you doing?" Another voice came out of the dark hall

"I'm going to the bathroom."

"It's been eight minutes, you would have come back to bed by now." Another little girl padded into the dark hallway, Lilly glared.

"Why are you observing my bathroom patterns that's really creepy. Stop it."

The other girl seemed to ignore Lilly, "Who is this"

Lilly sighed, "His name Dr. Watson. He just came out of the forbidden room." Lilly looked back at me, "This is my sister Beth."

"Well, it's nice to meet you Beth. How are you?"

"Sleepy...Lilly hurry up and go use the bathroom."

"Okaay." Lilly left for the restroom and I continued to look at Beth. She had blondish-brown hair with brown eyes. Their faces seemed kind of identical but their other features such as their hair and eyes were not. They were quite adorable might I add. Lilly finally came out of the bathroom and wiping her washed, wet hand against her nightgown. Beth grabbed on to her sister's hand and waved at me, "Good night Mister." I waved back. As they walked back, a thought entered my mind that they sorta of had the features of a certain someone. Just as I quietly entered the house, I left and I felt as if someone were watching me.

**9 A.M.**

"Darling, where did you go at three in the morning?" 

  I had just sat down for breakfast when Mary asked the question. "I just went for a walk to clear my head." She frowned.

"Was it the nightmare again?" She said with concern.

"Yes. I don't know what it's about and I don't know how to make it go away."

"Well it's alright darling, I'm sure it will leave just as it came."

   I nodded hoping she was right because i was tired of having the same nightmare every night. I continued to eat my breakfast.

"Um, Dear?" Mary sat across from me looking very anxious.

"Yes?"

"I went to the Doctor yesterday since I haven't been feeling well as of late."

"Okay, is everything alright?"

"I'm pregnant."

I stared blankly only for a minute letting the words sink in, "Oh, well this is great news. After so long of trying finally we will have a child of our own." I gave her a hug and continued on with my breakfast. Finally I will have a child of my own that I am able to show off.

  **Sherlock**

 I sat in my chair feeling quite flustered as i plucked away at my violin; Watson had come into my room last night and had I not hid things, could have gone terribly wrong. I looked at Beth and Lilly as they played the game I spy or something to that effect, just looking at them filled my heart with happiness and yet knowing that Watson was still alive and well made me even happier. How is it that a man who I undoubtedly drove crazy and always created problem for made me excited?

"I hear with my little ear someone coming up the steps." Lilly drawled the girl has very keen hearing abilities.

"I spy with my little eye Clarky." Beth finished and ran to open the door.

  I was surprised that the girls had grown quite fond of Clarky but then again I like Clarky more than anyone in Scotland yard.

"Hello Beth." Clarky handed her a small piece of candy and picked up Lilly who made the grabby hands at him. She never does that for me any more. Clarky saw himself in and sat in the chair across from mine.

"How may I help you Clarky." I said while continuing to strum the strings.

"We have a case. His name is Ronald Adair and he was found dead."

"So, lots of people are found dead." I spoke uninterestedly.

"In the room he was found dead, the door was locked, no forced entry and no gun shot was heard. The money he had on the table was untouched as well; he is one of the sons of the Earl of Maynooth and they are willing to pay a handsome amount of money."

 After hearing a couple more details, my interest was peaked and I stopped my redundant strumming. "Almost sounds interesting, let's go." I grabbed my coat and hat and made sure that Mrs. Hudson wasn't too busy to watch Beth and Lilly otherwise I would have to take them with me but then again it would probably to them some good to see me at work. I called out to them, "Be good and don't cause trouble for Mrs. Hudson I will be back later tonight."

"Yes Sir."

Clarky and I were off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't exactly like this chapter and just because of this chapter I am thinking of stopping but it people say they like it I will push through and continue. I will probably continue even if people don't respond.Also tell what you may want to see in the next chapter and I will try to incorporate it cause at the moment I have writers block. It's a miracle that I could type chapter four. See you in the next chapter. BYE!!!!


	5. Mrs. Watson come to Visit

     **Beth**

 “Beth where do you think Daddy went?” Lilly asked me as she watched Dad get into a carriage with Clarky.

“Why are you asking when you probably already know?”

“Because it’s boring when you can predict all the answers; sometimes you want someone to just tell you the answer or you want to get the answer wrong.”

     I would have nodded in agreement but unlike Lilly I was not as gifted as she was at deducing scenarios. It’s so irritating. I still don’t understand why she is like Daddy and why I’m not? Daddy tells me that I am more like our other Dad, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. Our other Daddy isn’t here so he is practically dead to me.

“Girls why don’t you come into the kitchen and help me make cookies?” Mrs. Hudson said wiping her hands on her apron. That got Lilly’s attention and in mere seconds she was in the kitchen patiently waiting for Mrs. Hudson to come back. “Well I see someone I excited. What about you Beth?” I shook my head and sat in Daddies chair hoping to take a nap when Lilly began to sing a little song that she made up.

_**“I sit on the porch waiting patiently.** _

_**Other Daddy will you come for me?** _

_**I wish that you would come visit me** _

_**But that only happens in my dreams.”** _

       I hate when she sings that song; it’s a stupid song and as far as we are concerned I don’t think it should matter if our other Father comes for us. I hate him so much. Why would he leave Mommy just because he was already married? From the stories I heard every so often Mommy and Daddy where to together way before Daddy got married so what was the problem? Did he not love Mommy enough? Thoughts like these swam around in my head before Lilly began to repeat the little song. Just like that, I laid my head down on the arm rest and fell asleep.

**A little later**

“Beth…eth…Beth!”

I awoke with a start; Lilly was eyeing me silently asking if I was okay. “I’m fine what is it?” She held out a plate that had two chocolate chip cookies. “I snagged them for you; I know how much you like chocolate chip.”

I looked down and smiled; no matter how many times I try to stay irritated or angry with Lilly she always does something like this and it makes me happy. I took the plate of cookies sat it on my lap and helped her to get on the chair with me.

“Beth, I’m scared. What if we meet our daddy and he’s really mean or what if he comes back but then leaves us again? Beth you won’t leave will you?”

“What of course not, why would I leave?”I asked munching on the crunchy cookies.

“Because I know you don’t like me because I am really good at deducing stuff.”

“It’s true that I get jealous, but I would never leave you because of that.”

“Do you promise?”

I smile and hand her the other half of the second cookie seeing as how I ate the first one. She giggle and took it devouring it. If she devoured that half, it must mean that Mrs. Hudson said she couldn’t have some till after dinner yet she grabbed me two. That is why I love Lilly so much; she is a sweet girl who thinks of others more than herself. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and I hurriedly answered it. A woman stood there with a basket in her hands.

“Hi, there. Aren’t you adorable, is Mrs. Hudson there?”

I nod keeping a straight face, Lilly follows up from behind giving a slight yawn, “Beth who is it?”

“Oh my goodness there are two of you, aren’t you both just precious.”

Lilly looked at the woman, “Who are you?”

“I’m Mrs. Watson; you may be seeing more of me around.” She stepped into the house, “I must know who gave birth to such adorable children.”

She continued into the kitchen to Mrs. Hudson why by now probably knew that Lilly took two cookies but Lilly was smart enough to know not to leave evidence.

“Beth, I don’t like that woman.” Lilly stared on as the woman known as Mrs. Watson walked out of sight. I had to admit something about her was unnerving, “Yeah, I don’t like her either.” I closed the door. Me and Lilly went up to our room to wait patiently for Mommy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's four in the morning and I haven't slept yet. I have stayed up several night in a row and I really need to get some sleep but I wanted to make sure I got a chapter out. I am very sorry that this chapter is short and I am also sorry if it sucks but I had to force myself to type because I wanted to make sure I updated.  
> As you can see is in the point of view of Beth and now Mary is in the mix. Things will start to get a little crazy after either this chapter or one more chapter. Please leave comments they help I wrote this chapter because of the comments. I promise the chapters will be better once I get some sleep. Thank you to every one who left a kudos and comment and also leave suggestions of what you think should happen in the next chapter cause at the moment I have slight writers block so I need some ideas. Thank you. Hope you enjoyed.


	6. Guess Who's in Denial. Real Chapter Title: Right before Your Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I am a sorry excuse for an updater and you guys have been so awesome and patient with me, I decided to give you all a nice long chapter. This is terrible, but then again this is my first fan fiction and I am really adjusting to updating.
> 
> Warning: There, what I think, are very serious and sensitive subjects in this chapter. Triggers! You have been warned.
> 
> Aside from my epic failure as a fan fiction writer this is the chapter I believe all of you whom have followed the story have been waiting for Watson finally finds out. Hope you enjoy.

    **Sherlock**

    I don't know how things got this bad but somehow they did. It was way past midnight when I returned to Mrs. Hudson's house with Clarky. The case was interesting; a man was found dead in his room but there were no signs of forced entry and everything was in its proper place but the man was slumped over the on ground with a bullet hole in his head. I had most of the case figured out but I would not dare divulge any of what I knew before I had all the facts.

     Clarky and I stepped out of the hansom and while he paid the man, I opened the door to my living quarters. The aroma of shepherd's pie entering my nostrils causing my mouth to water. Technically I hadn't eaten all day. Stepping through the threshold, Clarky cleared his throat apparently trying to get my attention.

"I think I shall be leaving." He said nervously shifting back and forth.

"I will have no such thing, I doubt you have eaten except for when you came earlier and unlike Detective Inspector, you were actually helpful.'" I smirked, beginning to shed off my coat, shoes and hat.

"I don't know sure, you know the wife worries."

I nod. It's not like I understand how he feels to have someone he can be intimate with but I do understand that there is someone who cares very much for him waiting for him at home. "I understand; have a good night."

"You too Sir."

   Clarky nodded and got back into the hansom. God I'm tired. Spending a whole day with people who are useless and so peaceful in their ignorance can take a lot out of a person. Even me, the Great Sherlock Holmes. I entered the kitchen thankful that Mrs. Hudson had wrapped my portion of food in foil to at least keep it a bit warm. I turned on the oven and stuck the covered food in slowly closing it as to not cause a ruckus and wake up the whole house. Just as I sat down, I gave a small cry seeing two small forms walk up from out of the darkness. "Girls, you almost gave me a... a..." I sighed not exactly wanting to admit that they had sneaked up on me. "...Never mind."

Lilly ran and to me and climbed into my lap, hugging me as tight as her little arms would allow. "Daddy how come your back so late?" She asked her round brown eyes peering into me as if she were looking into my soul. She probably already knew the answer but allowed me the opportunity to give my honest answer. How was I fortunate enough to end up with such intelligent daughters? I kissed her atop her scalp and breathed in her scent. I love them so much. I gestured for Beth and she tiptoed over to me also climbing onto my lap. I pulled her close rubbing my forehead against hers, and then I hugged them both close to my chest. If anything were to ever happen to them, I would never forgive myself. "I'm sorry, I was at work. A man was found dead in his room with no sign of forced entry and everything was in its place. No gunshot was heard." Lilly looked as if she were pondering something.

"Maybe he was shot from far away?" She asked in more of a question than a statement.

"Aw my girls are so smart, much smarter than those dunces at the Scotland Yard."

They both giggled and tried to scoot closer into my chest. That reminded me that it's twelve in the morning, "What are you two doing up, it's twelve in the morning?"

"We wanted to wait for you."

I frowned, "Did you eat?"  They shook their heads and I almost lost it. "What do you mean you didn't eat? When I saw Mrs. Hudson I was going to possibly rip her a new one or I would just annoy her more than I ever had before.

"We wanted to eat with you, so we asked her if she would save us some food." Beth continued and I internally groaned.

"Are you telling me that you stayed up the entire time waiting for me?"

"Lilly vigorously shook her head, "We fell asleep and I heard you come in so we got up."

"So you were asleep until now."

"Yes."

I tried my best to keep the smile at bay but I just couldn't, "Aww, my girls are so cute." I hugged them even closer to my chest then set them down so that I could get the food from out of the oven. I divided the food up and placed their plates in front of them. For a while there was no sound but the forks clinking against the glass plates and slight sound of chewing. Lilly who was like a vacuum finished first and I could suddenly feel this nervous energy emanating from her. She was practically fidgeting out of her seat; setting my fork down I focused on her. "Lilly, if you have a question or something is wrong you can ask or tell me."  
She nodded.

"Mommy-" Oh crap, it must have been serious if she was calling me Mother. Originally they call me Mother but when we came to Baker St I warned them that people were not as accepting of a man being referred to as a woman and that the real world was not like Uncle Mycroft's house where things were accepted because we were family. People are vicious and set in their ways and in order to protect them it was better for them to refer to me as what is the norm.

"What is it Lilly?"

"Why did Daddy leave us? Did we do something bad?"

    Even though Beth and Lilly are twins they are insecure about different things. Of course you would think that they are two different people so off course they are worried about different things but to me- someone who loathes human contact and could care less about human feelings- it is all very new. Back to the main topic, Lilly and Beth are insecure about very different subjects. Lilly is more concerned about how their other Father feels about them, and Beth is concerned about how she is compared to Lilly. They are both very good concerns but for one, I don't think that three year olds should have such concerns. They should be more worried about going to school for the first time or why they can't play all the time. Concerns such as the ones they have should be for sixteen year olds who are trying to find who they are in this cruel world. Even though children need two parents, their child hood should not be all about them wondering who their other parent is especially when they aren't mentioned frequently.

"Lilly... your other Father never left. He was never there in the beginning. When you two were conceived, he was already married. I didn't even know I could have children, although I always had feelings for your Father and I still love him to this day." Lilly nodded, I hopped she was nodding more out of understanding than just nodding to show that she heard what I said. I swiveled to Beth next, "There is nothing wrong with not being able to deduce as good as me or your sister. I have told you numerous times that very much like you other Father, you are very good at telling medical history. I'm not sure how either trait is inheritable but I know that you should not be ashamed that you cannot do what your sister does. Do you understand me?" I said sternly. 

"Yes I understand." I eyed Lilly who mumbled that she understood as well.

"Good now finish eating so that you can take a bath and get to bed."

"What, but we're no tired." They both whined. I laughed.

"Who was it that decided to sleep half the day?"

Suddenly I heard light foot-steps and a muffled cry. In the darkness, I could see a women, more specifically, Mary Watson. My eyes widened, how long had she been there? Why does it seem that my skills are diminishing or maybe they aren't diminishing I'm just not paying as much attention to my surroundings.

"Mr. Holmes... you're alive?" Her eyes were filled with confusion and shock and I gripped the edge of the table the semi-rough wood biting into my hand. I had no words. Nothing seemed good enough to say and every time I tried to speak my voice became overwhelmingly dry. 

"You have been alive all this time and you didn't once think to come and see Watson?! For the first two years he was in denial, he just knew you couldn't be dead because of the oxygen parcel but after two more years he gave up. He was depressed you know and it was all because of you!"

    I stared at the women who had stolen the only person who could deal with me and my antics. I didn't try to make an excuse because I had none and creating one would only make matters worse.

"Also, you're a freak and you're sick! It's not possible that these two little girls have two Fathers, you must have stolen them away and brainwashed them. Not only are you a homosexual but you are psychotic!"

  Each of her words bit into me tearing a small piece at a time away from me. She's right I am a freak but how dare she assume that I am homosexual?

"You are a monster! And your children are freakish demo-"

"Shut up!" How dare she, "You may throw as many insults at me as you please. Many people have called me many names and I am use to it now." I gestured for the girls to cover their ears and obediently, they did, "But damn it all if I allow someone like you to say any kind of shit about my daughters. People like you can go straight to hell." Mary was silent as if she were trying to come up with a comeback but I hurriedly put the plates in the sink and grabbed the girls so we could go upstairs.

"You're just as good as a whore. You know that right?" Mary finally said, "Saying that they are _your children_ when you don't even know who the alleged Father is, people like you make me sick, you want to point out everyone else flaws but you can't even see your own. You left Watson and I was left to pick up the pieces of a tattered man who didn't know who he was anymore. You left him and you got some whore of a woman pregnant probably and now you wish for everyone's acceptance. I will make sure that you are left with nothing and I will slowly destroy you."

I let a sigh escape my lips and I looked at the women with sad eyes, "As a spouse it is your job to pick up the pieces but I must say I probably would have done a better job than you without being a women or his spouse. Oh and while we are on the subject of children, _how many have you had?_ " Her features contorted into rage, "Food for thought."

* * *

   It had been a week since the encounter with Mary and already I beginning to feel the effects of her words. **Monster? Freak**? What did she know, she couldn't even carry a baby to full term and she's a women. Also as a person who, rarely keeps close watch on current events, I know what being a homosexual means and in today's times, it's not good. Men and women get sent to jail for such heinous acts. Some are even killed. No I am not homosexual even if I was raped by the man I trusted the most. "Shit." 

"Daddy, are you okay?" Lilly's voice interrupted my self-destructive thoughts. They weren't self destructive yet. I looked at her wiping the tears from my eyes hoping she hadn't seen the small globules of water running down my cheeks. Lilly has the most violent reaction to my emotions. When I'm happy, she of course is happy, when I'm sad she almost becomes depressed, if I'm frustrated, she won't talk for days, and don't get me started on if I'm angry.  So as a precaution, I try my best to keep my emotions in check around her. 

I smile at her hopping she is fooled by the facade but knowing my children, they are smarter than they let on. They catch on to everything. "I'm fine darling. I am a little tired though. I had to work all yesterday and you certainly helped me with coming up with a conclusion." I grabbed her and kiss her cheek. Her skin is so soft against my rough, bruised skin. She giggled. Either she was buying the act or she decided it was best act how I was acting...happy.

 What makes that women think that I wanted to hurt Watson on purpose? I left for his and her own good and she repays me like this? I know I have enemies. I have so many that I can't count and I know that they would most likely go to Watson to get to me and just the thought of Watson blaming me for her death that could have been stopped broke my heart. Watson doesn't need to know that I am back and he doesn't need to know anything about Beth and Lilly. A funny thought popped into my head just then. Watson said that if he did have a child and they were a girl, he would name her either Beth or Lilly. Imagine my surprise that they were twin girls and I named one Beth and the other Lilly. What a coincidence.

**Watson**

    Mary had been going to stay at Mrs. Hudson's very often and today was no different. Mary came back from having spent the night at Mrs. Hudson's and already something seemed off. I greeted her in the foyer with a kiss and a smile and she greeted me with a tight smile. "What's wrong love?"

"Oh nothing dear, it's just that I'm so excited for this child we are going to have." I placed a hand on her belly which was beginning to stick out a small bit.

"Yes I am excited as well." We shared another kiss.

   Of course nothing stays' peaceful forever unless you're in a grave I guess. I received a call from Clarky at the late hour of one in the morning. "This is Watson."

"Good early morning Sir..." he seemed nervous.

"What is the problem?"

"Well I'm not supposed to be telling you this but..." He wasn't making sense and I couldn't decipher what he was trying to say. "Um... never mind Sir, it is all under control." There was a click and the line went dead.

"That was strange." Mary hadn't stirred and I got back into the bed. The silky sheets felt great against my skin and it brought me a small comfort that I couldn't place. Sherlock flashed through my mind and once again, I felt I was in need of some fresh air. Again I walked into the crisp night air and I breathed in allowing the cold air to burn my lungs. This wasn't it, I needed something else, I don't know what it is but it's not back at home. I rummaged through my pocket and found a couple of £ (pounds) in my pocket. That's what I needed. I needed to gamble, bet. I needed to feel the thrill of winning and the depression of losing. I needed that right now. I walked all the way to a place that Sherlock use to go when he was dealing with an interesting case. Funny enough he would enter fights and place customary bets on himself for me. Upon entering the building, I scrunched up my nose the smell of sweat, blood, piss, and other questionable substances causing me to cough a little. I went to the basement of the run down building and was greeted with an even stronger smell of men, beer, and everything else I previously mentioned. I pushed through the sea of men to the bookie to place my bet.

"Who do we have tonight?" I said unable to clearly see the ring.

"We got this guy named Conley and another guy named..." He took out a sheet to look at the name, "Dredgery."

I tried once again to get a good look at the two men, but one had the other in a headlock. Sherlock would have been able to get out of that easily.

"Hey, are you going to place a bet or what?"

   That's right I wasn't here to think about Sherlock, I was here so I wouldn't think about Sherlock. "Yes here." I gave him some of what was in my pocket and then I took the ticket he gave me looking on with amusement and a new vigor. It was a spectacular spectacle. Both men fought with all they had until the bigger of the two knocked the other right on his ass until he could no longer get up. I went to collect the money and was about to leave when the next man came out. Considering that the Conley beat the last man I would place another bet on him. Upon reaching the bookie I was able to get a glimpse of the small man walking into the ring. It was funny cause he looked like...Sherlock. But that couldn't possibly be the case because Sherlock is dead.

They danced around the ring landing hits on each other until the smaller man decided that he was tired and wanted to stop. That could not be Sherlock because he would know that's not how these things worked. For some reason looking at the small man, my body became hot and I felt as if I could no longer stand. The way his skin and muscles rippled when he flexed sent a heat right down to my groan. God.

The man tried to leave but Conley wasn't having any of it, he spit at the back of his head and then shit went down. The smaller man wiped the spit off and began sending a barrage of punches and kicks his way. The match ended with a heel kick to the diaphragm. The man flew out of the ring and landed heavily on his arse. His moans now filled the quiet room, and everyone looked in disbelief that they had just lost their bets except me. I looked at the bookie. "Excuse me but I believe I won so can I get my money." 

The bookie, who was still wide eyed about the whole thing, mechanically handed me my money. The man made his way up the stairs and I followed closely behind managing to grab his arm before he exited the building.

"Excuse me."

The man tensed and almost against his better judgement faced me; his eyes widened as did mine.

"Why do you look like someone I used to know?" The man didn't speak merely shrugged. "Can you tell me your name?" Once again I received no response. He had beautiful brown eyes like Sherlock and gorgeous dark brown locks that framed his handsome face. "I would say you are my old friend but he's dead, yet the fact that you look exactly like him...i-it's uncanny."

The man looked as if he were stuck on the spot. His gaze was glassy but his body trembled. I don't know what came over me, but I pressed our lips together; those lips felt so familiar and so warm in the cold night air. Abruptly he snatched his arm away and began running, in my daze, I ran after him. He still hadn't answered any of my questions, of course I wouldn't believe it if he told me he was Sherlock because I saw Sherlock fall. "Hey wait come back."

I followed closely behind the man until he disappeared into an alley where he miraculously disappeared. I didn't continue my chase because it was pointless. I dismissed it as a hallucination because as we all know; Sherlock Holmes is dead and will never come back. But the feel of those pink pouty lips against mine stayed imprinted in my mind.

**Sherlock**

  I slipped into a door in the alley and fell to the floor, my knees too weak to hold me up. "Oh God he saw me," and the most radical part, I brought my fingers to my lips, "He kissed me."

The last part of the evening played through my mind on repeat until I got home and the heat of our kiss lingered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the longest chapter I have typed so far. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed creating this. I enjoyed it so much, I technically spent my day typing this instead of doing homework. Now that I have finished, I will do my work. BYE see you in the next chapter.
> 
> P.S. - I will be going through each chapter to do edits.


	7. Oh Shit! I thought I was Hallucinating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sorry for the late update, school is now in session and work is already being assigned. I am truly sorry for this crappy chapter but I am so tired but I still have homework to do so- Ta ta. Hope you like. One more thing, please let me know if there is anything you want to see in the future chapters because right now I have totally lost where I was going with this.

**Watson**

I don't know how I got home and you know I don't think I want to know. When I woke up I found myself lying  on the couch with my shoes still on but a blanket was around me.  I probably dreamed that whole night because I saw Sherlock there and as i recall he is dead so yeah- but then that doesn't explain why I have shoes on and am on the couch. "Finally up now are we?" I looked up at the bright face of my wife. "You were like a log couldn't wake you up for anything."

"I slept like a log you say?" 

That brought back memories. When I lived on Backer St I would get no sleep. Either Sherlock was acting himself or we had a case that was extremely interesting and had Sherlocks' full attention. It had been years since I could actually sleep. "Did you go out for one of your midnight strolls again?" She asked.

"Yes but-"

"But what?"

I wasn't sure if I should share what went on that night so instead of telling the whole story, I opted to tell only half of the story, "I-I think I saw Sherlock." She didn't stop what she was doing but I could see her body had tensed up. "Oh really dear, why do you say that?"

"I say that because I saw him. He was standing right in front of me and yet I couldn't make myself believe it was him. As we all know Sherlock is dead."

"Yes." She gave a nervous laugh, "He is dead." She stared off into nothing and I took that as my cue to change the subject.

"Well let me get ready, I'm going to see Mrs. Hudson."

"Why are you going to see Mrs. Hudson, you know she's an old woman she probably wants to be alone." Mary frantically tried to change my mind.

"What are you so nervous about, You know I visit Mrs. Hudson every Thursday."

"Yes, But as I stated before, she is an old woman and would probably like to be alone."

"Well that doesn't make sense. I'm going to see her and that is final." I went into the direction of the bathroom cleaned myself up and left for Mrs. Hudson.

Lilly

Beth and I were reading in the living room when he came. He was tall with orange-ish hair, a walking cane, a suit, and a limp. Beth automatically recognized him as the man that tried to get into Mommy's room.

"Beth, Lilly, how are you?"

"We're doing very well. We haven't seen you in a while Dr. Watson." Beth answered.

"Yes well I have been busy, where is Mrs. Hudson?"

"She's out." I replied this time.

"Do you know to where?"

"To the shoe shiner."

His lips formed a small 'O'. "So you two are here by yourselves?" He looked around like he was trying to find someone when it was obvious that the room was empty. "Where is you Mother?"

"Out." We both said.

"What type of parent would leave their child alone?" He asked with a frown.

"What type of deadbeat would leave their children." Beth mumbled under her breath. I thumped her on the head. "Beth that is very rude." Dr. Watson looked on at us curiously ad then specifically me. "You know, you look like someone I used to know."

"Thank you, I get that a lot." Suddenly the door burst open. "Beth, Lilly come on. I'm taking you to see Lestrade, Clarky desperately wants to see you and Lestrade hasn't seen you so...come...along."

Mommy stopped though mid-sentence upon seeing Dr. Watson who in turn could believe what he was seeing.

"Holmes is that you?"

Mommy was glued to his spot. He didn't speak, didn't move, and didn't even blink as the man stepped forward and caressed his cheek. Mommy flinched. Never a good sign. Then all a sudden all I heard was a noise and saw Mommy's cheek was red. 

"How dare you disappear and leave me to think you're dead?!" The man was outraged. Mother was still discombobulated and made no attempt to move. Beth on the other hand wouldn't stand for it and ran up flinging her arms out in front of Mommy. 

"Don't touch my Mommy! Do you know how hurt he has been ever since the incident? No you don't , all Mommy did was cry when he saw your picture and yet he still loves you!"

"Beth, that is enough." Mommy stated now fully conscious. " I didn't come to see you, I came to get my daughters, now if you will excuse me?" Mommy grabbed Beth and me but before he even stepped out of the living room, the man stopped him.

"Wait! Can we talk?


	8. Could Care Less

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watson and Sherlock have a talk.

“Watson, I won't let you do this to me again!”

“Do what? How is any of this my fault? This should all be on you!” I flopped onto the old yet familiar couch. Sherlock was pacing around our old room, whispering incoherently.

“Nonononono… why do you continue to do this to me? You are a selfish, bastard and I never want to speak to you again!”  
“Why are you yelling, Mrs. Hudson is down stairs.”

“No she's not, she's at the market and had you actually cared about any of us, you would know her daily schedule by now!”

I watched as Sherlock massaged his temples and gave a heavy sigh. Why was he sighing? As far as I am concerned he has no right to sigh. His forcing me to help him stop Moriarty, his disappearing act, and his return without a word to me are all his fault and it seems that he is too much of an inconsiderate, arrogant, ass to care about others feelings.

“Dammit Watson! Do you think this is a game?! Why are you laughing?”

“HAHA! Do I think this is a game? No I don’t think this is a game but obviously you do. I love how you’re trying to turn all this back against me. You are the one that wanted me to help you get Moriarty by ruining my honeymoon. You are the one that decided to pull that disappearing act, and you are they one that left me to think you were still alive with that parcel tormenting me each day thinking you would come back at some point...”

“Well, I’m back and you don’t seem to be too happy about that!”  
Sherlock is such an ass and he is testing my patients. Of course Sherlock will always try and sometimes will succeed.

“You know what Watson?” He shifted his eyes to look right into mine, “I’m glad you married the bitch cause now you two can be fucked up together.”  
That did it. I tackled Sherlock and socked him. How dare he speak of my wife in such a manner?

“You insufferable git! Why do you continue to provoke me?”  
Sherlock this time refused to look at me and had tears streaming down his face. What they hell? Actually this face was familiar. This was too familiar; I have seen this face before. This was the last face he made before he fell off the terrace. He was sad yet somehow appeased.

“…Get off of me! Get the hell off me!”  
“Before I get off you tell me one thing… who are those two little girls?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Just because.”

“That isn’t an answer.”

“…”

“Fine if I tell you, you have to promise to leave me alone… for good.”  
I roll my eyes, “Yeah, yeah whatever you want.”

“Beth and Lilly as you know are my daughters.”

“Right, so I can believe that you had time to screw someone while you were out.”

“Shut-up and listen. Beth and Lilly are my daughters; there is no easy way to say this, but they are yours as well.”

Okay I will admit that I was shocked to hear that, but it is not possible for men to be pregnant. “That is hilarious. I’m glad you remembered I like to laugh.” Once again I looked up to find a crying Sherlock, “Why are you crying?”

“You don’t want to believe me? After you asked me to tell you, you don’t want to believe that those two little girls are your daughters? Have you looked at them, especially Beth? She has your eyes, your hair color, and she even has your laugh. You know what, it doesn’t matter what you say because even if you don’t want them, they have brought joy to my dark life and I guess I should thank you properly for that.”

Why should I believe him of course I have seen those girls and now that he mentions it, the little girl sure does kind of remind me of myself. Suddenly a jumble of foot-step could be heard and Mary burst through the door. “Mary what are you doing here?”

“Don’t listen to anything he has to say! He’s lying!” She pointed an accusatory finger at Sherlock.

“And what makes you say that?” I ask.

“Because, he is a self-destructive, arrogant, childish git.”

“I don’t have to listen to these insults.” Sherlock stormed out of the room grabbing the little girls who were peeking through the cracks of the door. “Come on we still have to see Clarky and Lestrade, and don’t forget, never bother me again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it has been a while. Here is another chapter for all you lovelies. Sorry for not updating I have not been myself and really have not inspiration to write so this chapter may suck a little. Plus think of this chapter as fluff in a way. See in the next chapter which may be the second to last chapter.


	9. Coming on to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Mosstail1 whose comment made this chapter possible.

**Sherlock**

           I walked down the cobbled road with my girls in tow. I knew Watson could be an ass, but I had no idea his depravity could go this far. This is what I get for wanting to see the man I fell in love with years ago; the only man who had put up with my shenanigans for years was in that single instant tired of me, and that hurt more than anything that bitch of a woman had to say. Even worse, he kissed me that night. He himself had out his lips on mine and searched for me, while I ran like the coward I am. Oh, shit, I really am fucked up. He loves me. Maybe not love, but he is infatuated; how could I not see that? I, the great Sherlock Holmes, can save the world ,but I can’t even see that the man I have fought alongside and with, the man I have slept with has had feelings for me… well he sure as hell doesn’t have any feelings for me now.  
“Mama is everything okay?” Lilly looked up at me, her big brown eyes piercing into me as if she knew I would give a false answer and she had to find it for herself. So like any good parent, I indulged her.

“Yes, darling, everything is fine.” For the moment she was sated however, Beth was the one who worried me the most. Unlike Lilly, who for a lack of better words wears her heart on her sleeve, Beth seems to have taken on my coping skills. She won’t talk and for hours, and she holds in everything until she is ready to blow up. I can tell from experience, this way of dealing with things will get her nothing but broken heart and maybe mind. I wiggled her hand getting her attention. “Beth, darling, whatever you are feeling, you can say it, don’t hold it in okay.” She only nodded before we heard a squeal on the other side of me. Lilly had let go of my hand and ran into a tallish awkward looking man.

“Clarky!” She opened her arms wide, hugging the only person I truly liked from the Scotland Yard.

“Hello princess.” He bounced her in his grip before looking at me and Beth. “Hello Mr. Holmes.”

“How are you Clarky?” I gave a small smile.

“Doing well, sir. May I?” He gestured to Beth, who was still pouting.

“Go ahead.”

       He scooped her up next and imitated her pouting face, in which he received a laugh and a clap. That was a relief: you see this is why I like Clarky. I followed the gang into the building taking off my sunglasses and putting them in my pocket. The place now that I had come in the regular way hadn’t changed at all. Still the same carpets, the same hustle and bustle for criminals they couldn’t catch, and still the smell of sugar bread and coffee. We made it to Lestrade’s office where he was currently on the phone.

“Rubbish, I’ll have you know we do damn well without your men snooping around! What! …Yeah, but…okay. Understood.” He ended the call. Clarky looked a bit uncomfortable as the girls only stared at the short man.

“Sir?”

“Yes Clarky. What is it?” He swiveled in his chair and stopped at the sight of Beth and Lilly. “Oh, did you hear all that?” Lilly nodded, causing Detective Inspector to sputter in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, moving on, who are these two beauties?”

“I’m Lilly and this is Beth.” I don’t know, but Lilly loves introducing the two of them.

“Lovely names. Clarky you didn’t find them on the street did you?” He shook his head gesturing to me. “Holmes’ you git, you didn’t kidnap them did you?” I roll my eyes. Lestrade is still the most inept Inspector I have ever met.

“No, Lestrade. I may be known for some terrible things, but I have never gone through such lengths to kidnap children.”

“Then whose girls are they? They can’t be urchins they are dressed too nicely for that.”

“Ah, Detective you do have the ability to observe. I’m happy that my skill has rubbed off on you.” Beth and Lilly snickered behind us. “You think Lestrade’s idiocy is funny? It is a very serious matter.” They laughed even louder.

“Would you just tell me whom they belong to?”

“Me.” That stopped all laughter. They now looked as if they were gauging his reaction and based on the results they would like him or not.

“Mr. Holmes you have children? You telling me you have time to disappear and screw around but you didn’t have time to tell us you were alive?” When Lestrade said it sounded funny, too bad the matter from earlier had made it sore spot for me.

“While the thought is entertaining, I’ll have you know I did nothing of the sort. It is none of your business to know how they were conceived I brought them here so they could meet you.” Lestrade now looked like a fish gasping for air.

“Oh well, I guess I should meet them properly.

“You do that and afterward, I need to speak with you about the case.” He nodded. **  
**

**Watson**

            I don’t know which is more irritating, the fact that I feel horrible for making Sherlock cry (something I have never seen) or the fact that when he told me had given birth to those girls he sounded like he was telling the truth and that he was desperately trying to get me to see. I was hunched over on the love seat, letting the day’s events play and replay in my mind. Mary came back with biscuits and tea.

“Darling, are you okay?” I flinched from her touch.

“You knew?”

“Knew what?

“You knew he was back and you kept it hidden from me?” While I am not as good as Sherlock, all the time I spent with him, I ought to have learned something.

“You were already depressed and I didn’t want to risk anything by telling you he was here.” She stated quickly.

“That is no excuse! …I ran into a man that looked like him. I thought I was losing my mind when I saw him, and now he tells me that he gave birth. I must be losing my mind.

“John do not worry about him, the man is a lunatic.” I laugh, but there is nothing to laugh about. Her words cut into me like a knife and I didn’t know why. The look of hurt in his eyes haunted me and the more I thought, the more I felt a migraine coming on. Watson stop…it hurts. Oh God here we go again.  
I rubbed my temples and actually thought about taking a nap right there when Mrs. Hudson came stomping into the room.

“Watson what have you done!”

“What have I done? Why am I being accused?”

“I got a call from Clarky saying that Sherlock is moping around and I know you are the cause so fix it.” She hissed

“How am I supposed to fix this?”

“Figure it out!” She raced back down stairs.

Later that same day I had urged Mary to go home. Of course she pleaded with me to rethink what I was about to do, but how could I rethink it, when I had no idea what I was about to do? I insisted and finally under the guise of worry for the baby, I got her to go home. I had fallen asleep and by the time I heard the door open and close, it was ten at night. Why would he have those girls out so late? I thought about going to meet him but thought it better if I just stayed where I was.

“Come on, you need to have your baths and you need to get some sleep.”

“But we aren’t sleepy.”

“So you say but I saw you when we were out, rubbing your eyes and everything. You’re going straight to bed.”

“Fine.”

The heavy thump of his shoes grabbed my attention and for some reason, I was anxious. Anxious to see him and to talk. He opened the door to find me and contrary to what I thought would happen- he would walk out the way he came- he stepped farther into the room setting his things down. He neither looked in my direction nor spoke to me. Just this was making me rethink the whole thing.

“Sherlock about earlier…sorry.”

“How appropriate. You know people often use this polite saying without meaning it.”

“I know but I mean it.”

“Why are you apologizing?” I looked on confused.

“What?”

“What is the reason for this apology?”

“I wanted to let you know I feel bad for the way I acted and that if you will allow me, I would still like to be friends.” He scoffed.

“Friends? That ship sailed a long time ago. When Beth and Lilly were born all I could think of was you. It even got so bad that I almost killed myself for what had happened and what I had done to you. It was ten times worse than when I found out Irene died and yet, I held on to some hope that maybe you would understand why I had to fake my own death and you would welcome me with open arms. But no. I can see that the bit of hope was stupid.”

“Sherlock first off I am sorry for whatever it is I did to you-”

“You don’t even know what you did! How can you be sorry for something you don’t have an inkling about? …I told you not to let those gypsies make you drink and even then you wouldn't follow my direction. I guess I deserved it for ruining your honeymoon and everything.”  
I didn’t know how, but I felt myself stepping closer to the short man. I pressed myself into him and it was almost like he was made for me. Unlike the awkward way Mary’s body fit into mine, his curves locked right into place. He no longer smelled like tobacco and other drugs he had been experimenting with. He smelled like apples and maybe…apricots? Whatever it was it smelled nice. His skin had a healthy glow much unlike the time before where he looked ghastly pale. His hair was thick and curly and when I say that I could have bent him over the table and fucked him right there, I mean it. The only thing stopping me was the fact that he had gone rigid and now he was murmuring and shaking his head.

“No I’m not going to let you do this again.”

“What did I do?” I brought my hands along his hips and ghosted my lips along his neck. “Tell me, what did I do?” Shaking his head he abruptly pushed me away from him.

“What do you think I’m some slut that you can just come back to whenever you’re bored? Is that what you think of me?”

“What of course not.”

“Watson, you have a wife and a child to think about, so stop being stupid and go home to them before you mess up.”

“How am I messing up? I stepped closer my longer legs allowing me to step in his space in mere seconds. Maybe I could seduce him to tell me where the two girls came from? Worth a try.

“Watson I am warning to you.” I leaned into the table trying his best to get away from me but I wouldn’t have it. I grabbed his jaw and lock our lips together. The taste of him was strange almost as if I had kissed him before. Not the recent night but some other time. Finally he leaned into me wrapping his arms around my neck and deepening the kiss.

“So why don’t you tell me whose girls they are.” He breathed out his eyes dim with lust.

“I already told you…they’re yours.” He came in for another kiss. I grabbed his ass squeezing the soft but firm cheeks in my hands.

“How is that even possible?”

“He shrugged I have the pictures to prove it.”

“I’d like to see them one day.” Mrs. Hudson came stomping into the room once again note in hand. She shoved it into my hand my heart dropped. I ran into the other room picking up the other room.

“Hello?! What?! N… what are you go- don’t hurt her! What, he wouldn’t… I…alright. I’ll try.” I slammed the phone onto the receiver and raced back to Sherlock. “What the hell did you do?”

“Nothing. I just got back.”

“Did you order someone to kidnap Mary?” I asked menacingly. While Sherlock did have some skill I still had military training and could probably kill him if I wanted to.

“No. I would never do something like that.”

“Yeah I bet you wouldn’t. I ought to kill you right now!”

“Watson, I swear I had nothing to do with this!”

“You’re a real slut aren’t you?”

“Watson you are taking it way too far. You came onto me, and I will not tolerate this slander.”

“I’m going out to find her and you are coming with me.” I yanked his wrist and he pulled back.

“Don’t touch me!” I whipped around and socked him in the face. His nose spurting blood. I turned back only to find Beth and Lilly standing at the door their eyes wide and mouths agape. Lilly had tears in her eyes and hurriedly ran to the man who lay on the floor.

“M-mommy? Mommy you okay?” He groaned and I left. I didn’t have time to waste with him, Mary and the baby was in trouble and I was over here messing with Sherlock. Slipping my shoes and coat on and slunk into the cool, crisp night air to find my wife and child, the only two people who mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys here is another chapter. Honestly I wasn't going to finish this fic cause I kind of hate it now but thanks to a certain someones comment it helped me to pop out what I think is the best chapter of this fic. Don't worry I will update the next chapter and if you didn't know I have another fic about Valentine from Backstrom. The updating for that one is different, I'm actually writing that one out and then typing it. It is just taking a while to type it cause I wrote a lot for it. Please leave comments as you can see it really helps.


	10. You Spin me Right Round

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically fluff so and the continued feud of our lovely's Sherlock and Watson.

Sherlock Holmes  
I brought this upon myself. I should have known Watson would be too stubborn to want to understand and I just continue to let myself be played by him. I brought my knees to my chest and silently sobbed from the realization that I would never be number one in his heart. Why would I be? I tortured him for years with my late nights, my bouts of drug uses, my weeks without speaking, he put up with all of it for years so why should I expect him to want me? If anything, I should be grateful that he still talks to me. I looked at Lilly who had taken to sitting next to me with her knees drawn up when I’m frustrated; the spitting image of me. Just the thought that I am the reason for her tears makes me feel disgusting. I nudged her but she didn’t stir, poor thing must have fallen asleep. I took her into my arms and laid her on the couch where Beth was sitting. Beth looked up worry deep set in her eyes, this is all my fault and I need to fix it. 

“Beth, will you do me a favor and look after your sister for me? Mrs. Hudson is downstairs if you need anything, please be a good girl.”

She nodded without looking at me and so I left, my heart in shambles. The one person I have loved for years and yet they rejected me. Well, that shouldn’t be a problem because I have been living by myself for years and now I’m not completely alone because I have my daughters. 

“I’m going out Mrs. Hudson, the girls are upstairs.”

“All right just be sure to come back safe dear, and I’m making a roast.” I slammed the door shut and made my way to Scotland yard.

Watson  
I hate Sherlock; he’s probably the reason for my wife being kidnapped and now I have to find her. The question is where could she be? Who could have taken her? Why would they take her? Where in the bloody hell am I going to get one million pounds from? All these questions swam around in my mind until I could hardly think anymore. The thought of some unknown man torturing my beloved left a sour taste in my mouth and made my hatred for Sherlock even more powerful. Maybe I should go to the Scotland yard first and file a missing person’s report? Finally having a direction he turned his thoughts to his hatred for his ex-friend.

Sherlock Holmes  
“So you’re saying that Sebastian Moran is the culprit?” Lestrade asked while Sherlock sat sulking.

“How stupid can you be Lestrade? My two three-year-olds figured it out without even seeing the crime scene. Keep up old friend, keep up.” Lestrade in annoyance puffed his cheeks out.

“I don’t know what’s eating you but that was really rude even for you.” I could care less, the man I have loved for years rejected me in front of my own children. Took my heart and ripped it into a million tiny pieces all of that after he kissed me. He was even about to get physical with me, just thinking about our close proximity even now makes me shiver.

“Lestrade my dear friend I want to report a missing per- what is he doing here?” Watson, the bastard, narrowed his eyes at me.

“My job, what are you doing here, looking for your lost cause of a wife?”

“I will kill you. I have military experience.”

“Go ahead and kill me, but you’ll only leave my children parentless.”

“Are you still going on about those two brats you call your children?” Rage ran through me; the bastard can talk about me but not my two girls, not my angels. Now I admit I was a little angry so I grabbed the jerk by his collar. 

“You take that back you bastard.” 

“Why should I? The little buggers are already screwed enough with you as a parent.”

“You-” I wound up to knock the only person other than Irene who stole my heart out.”

“Now, now that’s enough from the both of you.” I watch as Clarky kept me from jumping at the abomination of a man. I hate him. I hate him so much and yet I can’t help but love him.

“Hey, you two, I will say this once and once only. You two will work together to figure out your problems.” The look on Watson’s face was priceless.

“What the hell do you mean, you are the police you are supposed to help me.”

“While that is true I happen to be on lunch break so you can come back let’s say tomorrow,” Lestrade smirked but he wouldn’t leave without hearing a word from me.

“I refuse to work with the git so if you will excuse me...” As I was about to walk about a strong grip encased my wrist.

“You prick you aren’t going anywhere.” Watson practically growled at me.

“You can let me go, that is exactly what you can do.” Clarky and Lestrade quickly made their way out of the room and left us alone. “Watson if you don’t let me go so help me I will...” Suddenly, Watson’s lips were on mine. His grip still around my wrist but his other hand wrapped around my waist. “Watson if you think this is getting you out of the fire, you are sorely mistaken.” I couldn’t help the tiny bit of giddiness that ripped through my body. Maybe deep down he does want me, but of course that would never be the case. How could a man of logic such as myself be moved by such a thing they call love? I laid my head on his shoulder taking in the scent and feel of the man before me. Oh God how I love this man, but can I get him to love me back is the question?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So once again up I'm up at 3 in the morning trying to type something that makes sense. I hope you like it I promise, the last chapter or two will be so much better than this one.


	11. A/N (Not a chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N

I should have posted this earlier, I am sorry. AMDW is going on pause, yes a longer pause than what it originally was. I have had no inspiration to write for one and for two I am retyping all chapters to make sure the story flows and is easy to understand. This quality of the story is unacceptable in my eyes so do not worry it will be fixed. Be Mine Valentine will get an update and if you haven't checked it out please do any and all support helps me to write and post these chapters. 

I also want to say thank you to everyone who has read my fictions so far. You all give me strength and your support is oh so helpful. Shout out to all of you and I will see ya'll soon ( funny, I can't really see you guys, but you guys understand). 

...One more thing, I love yall, alright I'm done. BYE :)


	12. You Spin Me Right Round (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a continuation of the last chapter.

I ripped by body from his grasp and pushed Watson away. I would not let myself be tricked anymore.  
“Sherlock.”  
“No! Don’t you Sherlock me after talking about my children and punching me in the face. You are too wishy-washy and I don’t have time for your shenanigans. You go and find your whore of a wife without me!”  
I stormed out of the office all the way back to Mrs. Hudson’s. He thinks he can kiss me and things will be okay well he can go and shove a-  
“Holmes...Holmes!” I heard my name and took a glance behind me. Why won’t he leave me alone hasn’t he humiliated me enough? I continued in the direction of 221 B. Baker street. “Holmes!”  
“What?!  
As I turned, I was pulled from the cobble street into a tight embrace. I struggled.  
“Sherlock listen to me.”  
“WHY! Why should I listen to you? What could you possibly have to say that would change anything!?” I pulled again.  
“Sherlock would you quiet down you’re making a scene.”  
I could feel eyes on me. I had tried my best to stay low but now thanks to the genius Watson I could clearly hear the whispers of pedestrians.  
“I’m making a scene? You’re the one who shouting my name like some crazy guy, now get off me!”  
I gave one more hard push almost knocking him to the ground. I ran and didn’t look back.

Watson  
I followed closely behind the detective after recovering from shock. He never pushed me away and when he did it was to protect me but this time he was mad. Really mad. I reached the house and ran up the stairs banging on the door, begging Sherlock to answer. And after what felt like hours, he finally opened.  
“What!”  
I held the door open.  
“Sherlock,” I breathed, “You are going to listen to me and you are going to answer my questions.”  
“Why won’t you just leave me alone? Isn’t it enough that I gave up my life so you and your wife could be happy? Dammit I know I’ve fucked up but I really tried to make it up to you and you continue to shove it back in my face.”  
Sherlock’s eyes started brimming with tears but I needed answers.  
“Holmes, I keep having dreams. I seem to be you know….” I tried to gesture using my brows.  
“No, I don’t.”  
I gestured again, “You know...”  
“No I don’t! Spit it out!”  
“Fine, I’m screwing someone and I don’t know who it is.”  
Holmes let out a sigh, “This is what I tried to tell you. When we were at Simza’s camp back in France, you were drunk and we ended up fucking and that is how Beth and Lilly came to be.”  
“That can’t possibly be true. I wouldn’t...”  
“Well you did kiss me, but I guess that was just you thinking about your wife and being horny.”  
That couldn’t be. I wouldn’t...I would remember… how in the hell. No Sherlock was lying. He always tried to pull a fast one on me but this sounded to serious. Maybe he is telling the truth. I stumbled back, covering my mouth in surprise. Oh my God. My wife kidnapped, fucking my friend, and having children by a...man? Shit Sherlock is a man. How the hell was this even possible? Fuck my life is never normal when Sherlock get involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again no inspiration but here is a chapter.


	13. Game Over

_He remembered. He remembered everything. The smell of gunpowder and his wound that wouldn’t stop bleeding. He remembered his short breaths as he, Watson, and Simza raced through the forest in Heilbronn. He remembered the explosion knocking him off his feet and mounds of dirt piling on top of him. He remembered hearing the trees crashing to the wood’s floor. He could almost smell the fear and determination of the soldiers as they blindly followed after their small group. One, no two of their party was already dead and if he had to admit, he was already a dead man. His thoughts raced through the fight that ensued and then suddenly, they were on the train. Simza was singing in her mother tongue and Watson was attending to the wound on his side. Probably from a bullet meant for his head. Holmes eyed the man whom he had shared so much with. Normally, he would steer the blame somewhere else, but this time he could not ignore the fact that Watson was hurt, separated from his wife, and almost killed. That was normal. No, this time he would take full responsibility. It was better if he was no longer in Watson life. If he just disappeared, everything would go back to normal. Yes, his departure from the land of the living would fix everything. Simza cradled his head and her soft song guided him into the land of the forever sleeping. This was for the best. He thought as he let out his last breath._

 

Sherlock’s eyes fluttered open taking in his surroundings. He was in Mrs. Hudson’s house in his old room that he and Watson shared.The room was familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. It just wasn’t the same without Watson, his faithful partner in crime. He would give his life for things to go back to the way they were but he knew that would never happen. He sat up, rolling his shoulders and to release some of the cricks embedded in his back.

He couldn’t stand dreaming about the past. It was irritating and unpleasant. It left him vulnerable and blind to the present which is why he decided he needed to clear his head. He began to sit up in his bed when he felt something small move against him. Beth and Lilly were on either side of him, their young faces lit up with the pale moonlight flowing into the room. A small smile graced his lips. They were his everything. If anything, they kept him rooted in the present instead of being tormented by the past. He slipped from the bed and donned his shoes and jacket. No doubt by the fog appearing on the windows it was cool outside. He pulled the blanket around his girls and slipped out of the room. He could take the stairs but they were too creaky and would give him away, so he did the next best thing. He hopped onto the banister and slid down to the first floor. Landing like a cat would, silent and on his feet.

He buttoned his coat and was almost out the door when a small rustle from the other room caught his attention. He couldn’t see that well in the dark, but he knew there was only one person it could be and he did not want nor wished to speak or see them. He popped his collar and held it up against his neck hoping it would keep the cool air at bay around him but he never made it out the door as Watson had sidled up beside him and gripped his shoulders. He could smell brandy on his lips which meant his ex-comrade was in a dour mood.

Sherlock didn’t meet Watson’s eyes; instead, he kept them downcast. His dark brown curls curtaining his eyes. Watson didn’t speak for the longest and he wondered if Watson was conscious at all or just sleep walking. However, from the way he inhaled shakily, he could tell the man was awake and quite possibly alert.

Watson tightened his grip on Sherlock’s shoulders and exhaled.

“You're saying those two little girls are mine?”

Sherlock was caught off guard by the question. He hadn’t expected Watson to even mention the girls. Instead, he expected a barrage of insults and curses, but this was different. Something was wrong. Sherlock only nodded though. He didn’t trust his voice to not crack on him but this was a matter of great importance and if he didn’t speak now, he would miss his chance.

“I don’t know how it happened. After I found out... I was going to,” he swallowed, “...I was going to get rid of them. But I couldn’t help but think that they were the one thing you had given me. The one connection I had to you. No matter how they were conceived I thought of them as a blessing; the one good thing that came out of me meddling in your life. After they were born I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of them.” Sherlock glanced up the stairs feeling tears prick his eyes. “I fell in love with them as soon as they were born and I never let go. ...I know you think I’m crazy but all of it is true. I felt them inside me every day - growing and kicking. I-I did not expect them to look so much like you. It scared me.”

Watson could hear the emotion in Sherlock’s voice. His friend never said anything straight forward, it was always glazed over with sarcasm and humor. This, however, this was the real and genuine Sherlock. He only caught a glimpse of that man every blue moon but seeing it now, it made his anger and desperation curve.

“They often ask about you,” Sherlock spoke again. This time trying to infuse his normal humor into his speech. It wasn’t working, “I would tell them about our exploits and how much of a great man you are, now I know that was a mistake. I should have just told them you were dead.” Sherlock shook his head and sniffed.

His heart couldn’t take any more of this. He shouldn’t have come back to Baker St. He should have just done like Watson and immortalized the man in the minds of his children as a great person who fought alongside him against the darkness. That would have worked just as well. He wouldn’t have come back then. He wouldn’t have had a reason to. Watson would live happily with Mary and they would have a child together. That is what passed over his perpetually in thought mind. It wasn’t among the many favored thoughts but it was there.

Sherlock wanted to be completely honest with himself, but if he did that, he would have to admit that he longed to see the man he fell for. That was a huge reason, that and Beth and Lilly deserved to know who their other Father was. It wasn’t fair for Watson’s child to know both his parents while his little girls grew up unaware that their other Father was even still alive. Watson’s words from earlier plagued him, gnawed his mind like a dog trying to get itself out of a trap. Watson had called his children, his babies, bastards. It had struck hard when he first heard it and it left a sour taste in his mind and mouth just thinking about it. If that was what Watson thought, then Watson was as good as dead to them. In the dark, with Watson holding him steady he made up his mind. He would take his girls, and they would leave 221B. Baker St. They would go back to where they had come because believe it or not, where they came from, the girls had received more love than when they had arrived at where it all began.

Sherlock inhaled a shaky breath and lifted his head meeting the eyes of the man that once had captured his heart. He would sever his ties here and now. It would be painful, but all he needed to do was get it over with like ripping off a band-aid. Blue eyes met brown as Sherlock licked his chapped lips. Here is where the game ended.

“Well, old chap,” He spoke, “I will help you locate and retrieve your wife, and then I will be out of  your hair for good.”

Watson was visibly shaking now and  Sherlock in all his brilliance, could not fathom why. He grinned, this is what Watson had wanted, a quiet life. Now he was giving him just that.

Watson’s hold on Sherlock went slack as he eyed the man in front of him.

“Holmes, what are saying?” Sherlock enjoyed it when Watson tried to play stupid, but that game of theirs was old now.

“Come now, Watson. All the time you spent with me deducting and you can’t do it now?” A small grin graced Sherlock’s lips. His heart hurt, way too much for him to willingly give up on Watson but it had to be done. “Be ready when I get back. We set out at dawn.”

Sherlock repositioned his collar against his neck and slipped into the dead of night leaving his ex-friend standing in the foyer. Finally, he and Watson would be free and they could continue on. He felt bad for all the time he kept Watson on a leash but now he was letting him go to be free and on his own. That sounded horrible when he thought about it, but then again, he wasn’t that great of a person to begin with.

What a fitting end to their story. A bitter, sad ending.

  



	14. I'm Sorry A/N

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promised to not do this again, so sorry guys.

Hi guys. First, let me thank all of you for supporting this story and me. I really love all of your comments and appreciate your corrections and thoughts. They make me smile and help me keep going.

As we speak, I am in the process of remastering **Apologies My Dear Watson** story (yay, she's been saying that for a while and now we get results) . I don't like how I started it or how I've written it and I feel that you guys derseve more than this story I have provided you.  So I would like to ask you this:

**Would you read the remastered version of AMDW or would you prefer me to continue with this version?**

Please comment yes or no in the comment section. Once again, thank you all so much and I really appreciate you guys. Have a happy holiday and talk to you later.

 


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